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News / Columns / Total Recall
Total Recall: Sexy Vampires
by Tim Ryan and Jen Yamato
Discuss Article
Page | 1 2 3 4

more info...

Vampyros Lesbos
Appears in: Vampyros Lesbos (1970)
Tomatometer: 50%

A classic of Eurotrash exploitation cinema, Vampyros Lesbos has a classy veneer that belies its seedy subject matter. Vampyros stars the beautiful Soledad Miranda in one of her last roles (she died in 1970 in an auto accident) as Nadine, a vampire that haunts the dreams of American lawyer Linda Westinghouse (Ewa Stromberg), who is tasked with handling Nadine's inheritance. Linda is both attracted to Nadine and scared of her -- after all, she is a sexy vampire. In retooling Bram Stoker's short story Dracula's Guest for the psychedelic era, director Jesus Franco concocted a brightly-colored soft-core fantasyland, with cheesy freak-out camera work, beautiful Turkish locales, and a sitar-mad, way-too-funky soundtrack that Quentin Tarantino memorably cribbed for a key scene in Jackie Brown. In terms of both eroticism and scares, Vampyros Lesbos might seem tame by today's standards, but it's still pretty hot.






more info...

Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt
Appear in: Interview with the Vampire (1994)
Tomatometer: 59%

Critics were split on Neil Jordan's adaptation of Anne Rice's bestselling vampire chronicle, but there was one demographic that was thoroughly impressed: the ladies. Starring Tom Cruise at the height of his powers, and Brad Pitt on the way up, Interview with the Vampire was, for the fairer gender, a gothic nightmare and a dream come true all at once. Cruise played Lestat, the merciless bloodsucker who leads despondent Louis (Pitt) to the dark side; Louis is conflicted, but later decides to sink his teeth into his new lifestyle, bringing a young girl (played by Kirsten Dunst) along for the ride. If some found the violence to be a little much, that didn't stop Interview posters from lining the walls of female dorm rooms across the country.






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Salma Hayek
Appears in: From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)
Tomatometer: 66%

In Robert Rodriguez's From Dusk Till Dawn, George Clooney and co-screenwriter Quentin Tarantino play a pair of bank-robbing brothers on the run from the law. While cooling their heels in a boarder gin house (the name of which is unprintable in a family website), the brothers gaze lovingly upon the exotically-monikered Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), the bar's main attraction. She's something to behold: a dancer who's minimally clothed, save for a giant snake, she's also got a taste for blood -- which she shares with the rest of the establishment's employees. From Dusk Till Dawn was a breakout role for Hayek, and it's not hard to see why: she makes sharp teeth look hot, and brings new meaning to the term "snake charmer."


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Comments (1-20 of 39 posts) | Reply
RT-Ryan
RT-Ryan writes:
on Nov 19 2008 06:23 PM

It's too bad you couldn't include the actual Monica Bellucci clip. Mmmmm.... I guess we could have run into some complaints if we had, though.

(Reply to this)
Rash Hunt
Rash Hunt writes:
on Nov 19 2008 06:44 PM

Let the right one in!

Mmmmm.


(Reply to this)
jokerboy1991
jokerboy1991 writes:
on Nov 19 2008 07:06 PM

LOL, is anyone watching South Park right now?!?! Its awesome, there making funny of TWILIGHT! Its so ****ing funny, there trying to get Butters!

(Reply to this)
ZiGyStRdUsT
ZiGyStRdUsT writes:
on Nov 19 2008 07:37 PM

South Park has once again explained one of the most important ills plaguing our country today: Vampire douches.

(Reply to this)
collex
collex writes:
on Nov 19 2008 07:47 PM

I didn't like Bram Sotker's Dracula. Really too slow, and when I was comparing it to what I remembered fro the novel, it didn't really make sense.

I agree Monica Belluci is hot tough.

But I must say that the most sexiest vampire I've ever seen is Vampire Willow from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.


(Reply to this)
jokerboy1991
jokerboy1991 writes:
on Nov 19 2008 08:05 PM

In reply to this comment (#2138151)
I liked Francis Fords version. Yes it was flawed especially with Neo's performance, but it had greatness to it I thought. Oldman kicked *** as Count,Anthony Hopkins was a cool Vanhelsing, the movie was great visually, and had super hot vamps instead of stupid ones like in Vanhelsing.

(Reply to this)
nblarson
nblarson writes:
on Nov 19 2008 08:32 PM

The South Park episode was priceless...

*looks forward to goths burning down Hot Topics the world over*

"The Hunger," while a bit vacuous, was, simply put, hot. Catherine Deneuve and a young Susan Sarandon having a sexy party? Count me in.

Monica Belluci could play a decaying zombie and she'd still be smoking.


(Reply to this)
blattman
blattman writes:
on Nov 19 2008 09:11 PM

In reply to this comment (#2137941)
It is only 9:10 in this part of the world. I am trying to stay awake long enough to watch it. Especially since this is the season ending.

(Reply to this)
rachel_renegade
rachel_renegade writes:
on Nov 19 2008 09:34 PM

In reply to this comment (#2137941)
OMFG. i loved the new episode. I texted a friend (male Twilight fan) and i told him and he said "thats not funny. People can like a book Rachel. just like you are allowed to dislike it. I dont want to hear it, im trying to stop being so negative." which made the episode 10,000x more funny.

(Reply to this)
tomwaitsjr
tomwaitsjr writes:
on Nov 19 2008 09:48 PM

South Park is WIN!

I can't believe Innocent Blood only got 42%. That was a great movie. . .


(Reply to this)
Jen Yamato
Jen Yamato writes:
on Nov 19 2008 10:30 PM

Hot Topic burned down and the vampire kids went back to normal! Oh, South Park...

(Reply to this)
Bulletproof_Animal
Bulletproof_Animal writes:
on Nov 20 2008 12:03 AM

Can you believe Angelina Jolie has never played a vampire? That's, like, the one thing she was born to do. Her and Kat Dennings. Together. Doing stuff.

(Reply to this)
fullmetalnek
fullmetalnek writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:32 AM

Glad to see Soledad Miranda on the list. She is one of the most beautiful women in the history of cinema.


(Reply to this)
Confounded
Confounded writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:36 AM

Lauren Hutton in Once Bitten? Maybe I'm just showing my weakness for 80s women.

(Reply to this)
Confounded
Confounded writes:
on Nov 20 2008 05:41 AM

Or Geena Davis in Transylvania 6-5000. There I go again.

(Reply to this)
crystalwhiteeyes
crystalwhiteeyes writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:10 AM

"Let The Right One In" looks FAR more enticing than this Twilight crap. Appears to be the true gothic love story that it needs to be.

(Reply to this)
Confounded
Confounded writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:15 AM

In reply to this comment (#2138735)
True, but I don't think we're quite ready to place 12-year olds into the "sexy vampire" category.

(Reply to this)
Hamboner
Hamboner writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:41 AM

-Keanu Reeve's British accent was priceless. Did anyone notice that they completely omitted him from the trailer?

-Monica Bellucci was at one point my ideal woman. But then I saw her in Shoot 'Em Up and something, I don't know, broke, about her appeal to me.

-The final fight between Dracula and the hunters was short, but genuinely awesome action for the time.

-Watching Winona Ryder getting hot and bothered by green mist is to this day one of the most sexually arousing things I have ever seen. I think I was so young when I saw it that it really stuck with my. I should tell my therapist. Hah.


(Reply to this)
'Stache-Attack
'Stache-Attack writes:
on Nov 20 2008 06:59 AM

Confounded, you're dead right. The second I went to this article, those were the two names I was looking to see if they forgot (Hutton, Davis). I watched those both religiously in the '80s, and to this day, still get the Transylvania song stuck in my head at inappropriate times.

I while I was hoping to not mention any guy-vamps you forgot, I liked how Gerald Butler's Dracula had a certain sexiness about him in Dracula 2000. Although that could just be some sort of sexy interference that I was feeling from Jennifer Exposito, Jerry Ryan & Vitamin C. Yeah, for the sake of me not disturbing myself, lets just include the women.


(Reply to this)
EIKOH
EIKOH writes:
on Nov 20 2008 08:02 AM

BSD was visually appealing, but it ran away from the storyline of the book in certain places making my dislike it.

(Reply to this)
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